Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Old post of mine

This is the mail that I sent to the groups couple of years back...this mail was in response to the mails which wished me b'day. I thought that it should be in my blog.... so here it comes Hi guys and girls, Thanks a lot for your wishes. I had a nice birthday here with selva and nawaz.Its been a long time that i wrote something in the groups. i have been forwarding a lot of mails. I thought I will write something and I am writing about the small happenings in my lil life. I was feeling a little nostalgic on my b’day. and was thinking of school I remember right from school days. School days now seem so far away. I remember a weary-eyed me, queuing up when they sang the national anthem everyday. Fearful we were, then, of the dangerous future. Of the pressure of frightening educational goals like writing the alphabet in a straight line on those books that smelt so awesome. wowee life was so simple.... at least not at the so-young age of 19, when I watched them walk past, they looked pathetic and tried to fix their sight on every possible place other than humans. The first years had arrived. I felt really very happy from deep within myself, and felt my thoughts run away from the realities of the present to that day one year ago when…I entered the college as a fresher. There was a sudden change from 12 when I walked without any fear, I was self-assured of the fact that I was a member of the top class of the school. I Walked silently to the ED hall where our dear principal gave out a speech which was no doubt good enough, but I had a very bad habit which I guess I still have of sleeping without being tired and without any reason to sleep. Principal ended his speech by saying that classes would start the next day. Next day I went to the stop where the college bus would pick my up. There was a staff waiting for the bus, and there were few other students waiting for the bus. One guy approached me and asked which college? I hesitated but he said he was also a fresher and studied in SRM and asked about the college, I din say much but I said that from the principals speech there was no ragging in my college. The bus came and guess what he got into the bus; he was a third year guy happily getting into the back door. I tried to sit next to the lecturer, but he sent me back to where I was sure the seniors were awaiting my arrival, by tersely informing me that this seat was reserved for the staff. I placed myself gingerly on the seat near the person to whom I spoke in the bus stand, he did not smile. I gulped. He asked me my name in a tone that seemed almost like a bark. I answered in a low voice. He knew my name already but asked. The first thing he asked was tell me the names of girls from A –Z . The ordeal of thinking up names within a short interval was very strenuous, and for my intellect it was definitely hard and could not make it ahead of ‘I’. Those were the days I will never forget. Then came the last day of first year. The day I wrote the last exam I hoped the present first years would find their first years as 'lovable' as I did... (Evil grin). I read this and thought that it was really good Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."Richard Bach Coming to the final year, I am not very good in goodbyes. I am really terrified of them and even now. My goodbyes typically begin with a dismal attempt at not crying, followed by fairly violent hugs. College day is an exquisite example of chain reaction. One person started weeping and I remember a whole bunch crying at the end. I now think about the reason for this affliction. I mean, most times, the people leaving are not going to be totally out of touch. A very small percentage of them are actually going to disappear somewhere, but most of them will be email able, callable, some even meet able. Still, goodbyes hurt. I think that its because no matter how accessible the person is, things will never be the same again. I’LL never see them in the environment I saw them once. Those lovely days of going to a movie planned at the last moment dragging ppl like selva to Hindi movies and having fun there, or may it be celebrating friends birthday, it was fun and I miss it. Every person, especially a close friend, makes everyday life what it is. And I am really happy for the fact I am with two lovely guys here. And as the saying goes if good things lasted forever would we appreciate how precious they are? I miss you all. regards senthil natarajan

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