tears wont come out

i am not a regular blogger or a person who encouraged blogs, i always read blogs and thought that people write em just because someone doesn’t listen to him or her or just the person likes solitude. Today its just one of the above two reasons thats making me scribble something. I am a boy from India in Australia came here to persue higher education. yes my dreams came true and i flew to this wonderland 2 years back and 6 months has passed now that i completed my goals with so called flying colors. I am not a person who is sentimental or emotional but i have a feeling that this year things are not going my way. May be i am seeing a lot of lucky people around to think that i am not that lucky. it all started dec last year things were going fine i had finished last sem of my masters and the results were out and of course i din have any problem clearing the exams. The same day that i got my exam results i also got a shocking news that i had some stupid disease and that i had to undergo another checkup, all this i had to do to get a residency in Australia. well i waited for two months patiently for an appointment and i knew that there was nothing wrong in my body but had to undergo another test. may be already my bad days had started. I work in a seven eleven as a part time staff, i was working night shifts that time. i had already spent a fortune for my residency application and lawyer fees and other fees etc, so i was making all the money that i spent. in fact i am still.... when i had enf money for i thought of taking up ccna exam and as m luck would favor i got the date on the same day as my re-medical check up, i prayed to god that feburay 9th should be my luck day, things should cleared. i did my part in reading for the exam but i had a feeling that i was not up to the mark but then i was clearing the sample exams and thought lets do it. Morning was the exam, I went to the exam and saw the screen when I said grade exam… I had to get 849/1000 to clear the exam I got 847/1000 and the merciless Machine said sorry better luck next time. Yes I was sad and din want to undergo medical test in another 1 hour. But I got this date after 2 months of waiting and I could not afford to let it down. I did the medicals and doc asked me to come back in 3 days, I was afraid that the fateful day might engulf me. But god was with me, when I went next to the doc he said the reports were clear and I din have any problem. Well a big sigh of relief at least the residency process will continue which had stopped for over two months for this report. Came home and thought may be my preparation for the exam was not up to the mark And I should not be blaming the day and other things. In between this entire affair we roomies decided to change the room and that was another burden. Just when I was thinking that all that happens is for good grandpa fell ill( he is w ell now) and I Desperately wanted to see him, having applied for residency I had a very feeble chance to go to my dear country. Many things happened since then and every time I am missing small opportunities Which other are getting? May be this is life and this is what it gives you when you want more from it I calculated today and its been more than 650 days that I came to this country and My parents want to see me and I want to see them, I know that its just a matter of time But still in some corner of my heart I want to see them. Whatever tears wont just come out I am man. May be weak at heart but I am a man.